Gather round, boys and girls, and I'll tell you the heroic tale of the Dragonborn, the legendary Wood Elf, Redguard, or possibly Khajiit man or maybe woman...I suppose we'd better clear up the particulars before moving into the main story. Let's make us a hero!
A warning for those trying to avoid Skyrim coverage today: Get the hell off the internet; it's not safe!
I've done my best to gloss over the pertinent plot points in this character creation video, but it's still a video, and you will see things that you can't unsee, and likely hear things that you can't unhear. You have been duly warned.
Creating a character in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim for the Xbox 360 proved a challenge. It's not that the process was difficult or overwhelming; it's as shallow or deep as you want it to be. You could spend a good hour tweaking bone structures, or just grab a pre-made and head for the hills.
No, the difficulty rested in the fact that I wanted to play the game and not sit about showing you folks how to space eyeballs or upturn noses. The ability to do so is there, but you can explore that on your own.
I'm just here to make the Dragonborn pretty, and I think I've succeeded, for the glory of Skrim!
You can contact Michael Fahey, the author of this post, at fahey@kotaku.com. You can also find him on Twitter, Facebook, and lurking around our #tips page.