This is the diary of me attempting to play Skyrim using only Illusion magic: I'm not allowed any weapons, armour, or magical items, and I can't attack anyone directly. The first entry is here, or you can see all entries to date here.
I park Sarah on a hill at a safe distance, and head on to the watchtower. I stop before I get there, and scan the horizon. I've just had an idea. I find what I'm looking for, then carry on to the tower.
The guards are just arriving. Belrand's at my side. I wait until I see the dragon itself - circling high in the clouds - then put my plan into action. I run away.
I sprint across the scruffy brushland until I arrive at a huge bonfire a little way outside the city. I knew what I'd find there when I saw its glow on the horizon a minute ago - a few woolly mammoths and two Giants, devoted to protecting them.
I run up to a mammoth and start jumping around annoyingly. The nearest Giant roars, and waves his club angrily at me - but doesn't attack. Not good enough. I keep being annoying, dancing dangerously close to the giant himself, but no luck.
Then Belrand catches up, and runs straight at the Giant. Oh hell. I hadn't accounted for this. I do the only thing I can think to do, and cast Calm on the Giant. The spell does nothing, but feeling it hit sends the Giant into a rage - he turns away from Belrand and charges at me.
Belrand swings his two-handed frost axe at the Giant's leg, but he keeps coming for me. I'm just about to turn and run when the second Giant catches up to Belrand, raises his club, and brings it slamming down on the ground.
Belrand is crushed - and then, in a quirk of Skyrim's physics, sent rocketing into the sky. He flies higher than the dragon, until he's just a glowing speck in the sky, then he vanishes altogether. I am agog. I run.
When I finally risk taking a split second to glance back, the Giant is still storming after me, but the second hasn't given chase. As far as I can see, Belrand's body still hasn't hit the ground.
I'm running for the watch tower, in the hope that I can still execute my plan: get a Giant close enough to the dragon that he gets caught in the crossfire, and watch the titans clash. This is scuppered somewhat by a sight that would otherwise be great news: the dragon comes crashing down out of the sky. It's dead. It's taken me so long to bait the Giant over here that the guards have killed it without me.
I should really lead this angry Giant away from them now, but I don't have a choice: I'm out of sprint juice and he's gaining on me fast. I keep heading for the watchtower.
The guards are shouting and rejoicing about their hard-won victory when I get there, at which point they all look at me and raise their bows.
Hey guys! I, um, brought a Giant?
Next Thursday: how that goes
